


Déjà vu

by MammaTino



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: A short story for you all, Memories, Minor Finland in the back ground, Past Lives, Some fighting, Someone dies but who is it??, no ships, sorry y'all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-18 13:25:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9387134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MammaTino/pseuds/MammaTino
Summary: Kristian didn’t know what brought him to make this decision, and he didn’t know if it was a good idea. But he knew that he’d end up regretting it soon enough, and his curiosity was the one to blame for this.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello yes look at me posting other work on this account, yay.  
> I wrote this short story for my Creative Writing class but I thought it would be quite fitting as a fic so that's why I'm posting it here as well for others to read.  
> This might also count as something for people to read while I'm updating Heroes the Staff of Life...  
> Expect another old short story to be put up here soon!  
> -Tem

**Kristian= Norway**

**Mathias= Denmark**

**\---**

Kristian didn’t know what brought him to make this decision, and he didn’t know if it was a good idea. But he knew that he’d end up regretting it soon enough, and his curiosity was the one to blame for this.

 

\--.--

 

He was gathered with a group of friends at one of their homes, having one of their usual nights spent together drinking or talking when one of them decided to bring the conversation way out of line. They had been lazing around on the couches of the living room, a cold can of beer in their hands while the television screen displayed a movie, when one of their friends suggested they try to stay up for four days in a row. The excited grin on his face annoyed the group, and Kristian even threw his empty beer can to get him to shut up.

 

“Aw c’mon guys, it’ll be a great idea!”

 

Kristian scowled and leaned against the armrest, placing his legs on his friend’s lap. “Do you even know what’ll happen if we do that, Mathias?”

 

“Yeah, I know what will happen.” Mathias fiddled with Kristian’s sock before having his hand kicked away. “That’s why we should do it! Aren’t ya guys curious?”

 

The other three in the room exchanged apprehensive looks, but didn’t answer. The answer was plastered onto their face, but their movements were trying to mask the truth by making them seem unsure and uncomfortable. Thinking of such things would make anyone feel distressed, especially when you had to say it out loud. It was almost like they were under constant watch, that if they said the wrong thing, they’d be swept away. It wasn’t illegal to stay up for so long, but it was such a taboo subject that it felt like it would be against the law. Of course, they were curious, they wanted to stay awake and see first hand what would really happen, but they were too scared to say it. Except for Mathias.

 

“Don’t ya guys wanna know what yer past lives were like?”

 

One of the others in the group finally piped up, his light voice cracking slightly from nervousness. “Mathias that’s dangerous, what if-”

 

“‘What if? What if? What if?’ Toivakka, you’ll never know unless you see it for yourself!”

 

Kristian rolled his eyes. “I don’t care about my past lives. I already saw glimpses- it’s not like I’ve never been tired. I probably see a memory every morning when I wake up for college.”

 

“But glimpses aren’t enough! We’re missing out on so much and I just can’t take it anymore!” He huffed and leaned back almost in defeat, a sly grin spreading across his face.”Jeez, I thought you guys were better than this. I’m sure my past lives were way better than Björn’s, anyways.”

 

The angry muttering coming from the other side of the room was quickly interrupted as Kristian sighed in exasperation and kicked Magnus’ side, knocking him over the armrest of the couch and onto the floor. “Fine. I’ll play your stupid little game. But if I survive longer than you, you’ll do whatever I say for a month. Deal?”

 

The grin and the boisterous laugh coming from Magnus was the only answer he needed.

 

\--.--

 

On the first day he had stayed up the entire night drinking an unhealthy amount of coffee and binge watching through all the movies he could find.

 

On the second day he could barely keep himself up and decided not to attend classes. He had seen a few past memories of his life, but they weren’t anything interesting or ‘juicy’, as Mathias would say. He saw himself looking after a few children and baking bread, or sitting around watching a teacher scribble things onto a blackboard. Just small snippets that didn’t give him much information.

 

On the third day, it finally hit him.

 

He was sitting in his lecture hall, the ballpoint of his pen barely grazing his lined page as he stared down at his hands. The voice of his professor never seemed to reach his ears and his limbs felt numb, his vision dancing and doubling as he swayed back and forth slightly, his mouth hanging open slightly. He could feel some of the strange stares given to him by his classmates but he couldn’t move. His vision darkened around the corners of his eyes and his body felt light, almost like he was sleeping. But.. he wasn’t. He felt alive, he could feel the pen in his hands, the breath that was slowly entering and leaving his body, and the tingling sensation around his eyes.

 

His mind buzzed silently as he continued to stare down at the empty page below him and he saw images flash before his eyes. Voices echoed in his mind- voices that carried familiar tones that he was sure he knew. His head throbbing as he tried to make out what the voices were asking and what he was seeing before the world around him slowly seemed to melt away.

 

_He saw himself standing on a cobblestone street, looking out towards a port. Snow came down in a whirlwind of fury and Kristian stared out at the frozen sea in amazement. The winter was a bit harsher than usual and the ships were all frozen in their position, men climbing down the side of their boats and walking along the ice without a worry. He pressed the sides of his thick coat closer to his body and shuddered, covering his mouth and nose as he thought of what to do next. He could warm up at a bar before going back to work, maybe play a small game of chess with a few of the sober people in the pub as well._

 

_Flexing his cold toes a bit to get them to work properly again, he turned on his heel and was about to make his way down the road before bumping into the chest of another man. He scowled and tried to step around him, but the voice stopped him dead in his tracks and he froze in shock._

 

The voice was taunting, sarcastic, and so familiar- but Kristian couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He wanted to turn and see who it was, but the memory played on and he watched in despair as he marched away from the stranger, an elegant gait to his storm-filled steps.

 

He blinked in surprise as his shoulder was shook violently and he snapped out of his trance, looking around at the concerned looks from his classmates. He was told to go home and get some sleep.

 

They probably wondered what he had seen.

 

\--.--

 

The next few hours he hadn’t seen anything else, but there was something about that memory he saw that stuck with him for the rest of the day. It wasn’t the fact that the sea was frozen over, or that it was so cold. It was the voice. The voice that followed him like a lost child. The voice that taunted him ruthlessly on his commute back to his apartment. The voice that clung to his mind like a pest that couldn’t be exterminated no matter how hard he tried.

 

He now sat silently in his dim living room, staring at the dark television screen dully as his mind churned slowly. He knew that he would have figured it all out if he wasn’t so tired, but he couldn’t go to sleep now. Not when he was so close to uncovering something. Something interesting. But what?

 

With a sigh, Kristian sluggishly buried his face in his hands.

 

_“You.”_

 

_He doesn’t move from his spot. They face each other. Their eye contact never breaking. Their hands stuck to their sides. They’re tense, their legs straining and trembling slightly, ready to pounce. But they don’t. They stand in the elaborate hall filled with beautiful and detailed paintings, the light seeping through the curtains barely illuminating the other’s face. But it doesn’t matter. They know who they’re looking at. They know what they’re facing. They know what’s going to happen, but, at the same time, they don’t._

 

_“It’s time to end this, don’t you think?”_

 

_His throat aches. The voice is raspy. It’s lost it’s taunting and condescending tone that he had grown so familiar of, and he can’t help but shudder. He can hear footsteps nearing and he watches his companion approach him silently. He take a step back. Then another. And then another. The carpet underneath him feels like it’s pulling him down and slowing his steps. His heart is in his throat yet he remains calm as he thinks of a plan to avoid the approaching man._

 

_Soon enough they’re in each other’s face. There’s nowhere else for him to go except to his destiny._

 

_“I never thought you would be such a coward.”_

 

_He doesn’t respond. He continues to stare into those darkened orbs, his mouth running dry as he tries to figure out how to speak._

 

_He doesn’t._

 

_There’s angry hissing. Their voices howling lowly like feral cats. Harsh words are being exchanged from party to party, the insults clashing skillfully like swords as they try to stay alive. As they try to kill. As they take on the roles of savage beasts out in the wild. Eat or be eaten, kill or be killed. They had de-evolved back to the era of hunting in just mere minutes in that dark corridor._

 

_They lash out against each other. He tries to hold his companion off as he tries to avoid fighting. He wouldn’t let himself be lowered to the point of having to attack just to stay safe. He keeps telling himself that, but it’s already too late._

 

_The knife is pulled out before he could react._

 

_A sharp pain flares up his side as the curved blade plunges deep into him. He falls back in an attempt to escape, but it’s futile. The predator has already closed in on his kill, and soon he feels more blood leak down his cooling skin. His legs tremble and he crumples to the ground, the boots of his companion being the last thing he sees before his vision fades._

 

\--.--

The first thing he noticed that morning when he awoke was the darkness in his room. The blinds were drawn to a tight close and the lights were completely off, only leaving Kristian to wonder what time it was. He couldn’t tell whether it was day or night, he couldn’t tell how long he had been sleeping. Hell, he couldn’t even tell what was real or who he could trust. He had avoided any socializing with anyone he could, trying to sleep away all the tiredness he had accumulated over the past four days and get over the memories he had seen earlier.

 

It was off-putting experiencing death without actually dying.

 

His friends had called him numerous times but he barely ever answered them, letting them go straight to voicemail as he lay around trying to wrap his head around all the events and get himself back together. His apartment was riddled with broken fractures of his mind and sanity and Kristian was taking the time off from work and school to try and collect them before he completely loses himself.

 

Now he knew why no one ever stayed awake for so long. No one would be okay after seeing such things, after experience such pain and fear.

 

Before he could decide whether to fall asleep again or not, he heard a loud and tentative knock coming from his front door and he groaned. He knew someone would come to his apartment at some point, but he didn’t expect it to be soon. His friends knew that he liked staying alone sometimes, but since he ignored all their calls and messages, they would obviously be concerned. Especially after he agreed to Mathias’ little game.

 

He stood up shakily and trudged through the dark apartment, picking up the small kitchen knife on the coffee table as he made his way to the entrance door. He peeked through the peephole, chewing nervously on his lower lip before seeing Mathias on the other side of the door. His grip on the knife tightened momentarily and his muddled, confused mind wondered why exactly the Dane was there. Rationally speaking he could just be checking up on Kristian, but he couldn’t be too sure. He couldn’t let his guard down around anyone anymore, no matter if they were a friend or family member. He cracked the door open an inch and peered up at Mathias for a few moments as he tried to figure out what to do with the uninvited guest. Before he could tell his friend to get lost, the other man had already started to blabber away.

 

“Jesus, Kristian- do you not know how to use a phone? We’ve been worried sick! Magnus was panicking and threatening to infiltrate your apartment and wow you look like a mess-”

 

“Mathias.”

 

“- but, like, he was even considering calling the police and stuff, like- what the hell Kristian? What happened to you? You look like you’ve been dragged through hell-”

 

Kristian huffed and kicked him in the shin before stepping back, his hand still gripping the door knob. “Shut up already, it’s too early to deal with this. You’ve seen me. I’m okay. Now go away already, I’m too tired for this.”

 

“It’s only 6:00 PM, Kristian.”

 

Kristian felt a large hand close around his wrist tightly and he tensed. Mathias must have noticed the change in atmosphere and quickly let go. “C’mon, humans are social creatures. Ya should go outside and talk ta people, yer probably goin’ crazy. Listen, since ya won the bet I’ll take ya to the bar and buy you a few beers.”

 

“Not in the mood.”

 

Mathias pouted and Kristian was about to close the door before his friend decided to squeeze past and step into the apartment. He protested, but it was already too late. The other was already making himself comfortable on the couch like he owned the place and turned on a few lamps nearby to create some light. He saw Magnus’ eyes trail down to the knife in his hand and he looked away uncomfortably, shame and embarrassment evident on his face. “I was about to do some cooking.”

 

The way his voice cracked and trembled awkwardly would have probably given away his worries, but Mathias didn’t seem to notice. He probably wasn’t paying attention in the first place. “So how did the dare go? See anythin’ interestin’?”

 

Kristian shrugged and turned on his heel, entering the kitchen and making his way over to the fridge. He could feel Mathias’ eyes on his back, following his every movement, watching him flit around the kitchen like a fly.  “No. Not really. Just some borin’ old stuff like always.”

 

“Ya wouldn’t have holed yerself up here if it was nothin’.”

 

“I’m tired, okay? I can’t go back to classes if I’ll keep spacing out and seeing memories. There’s no point in me going until I’m rested up.”

 

Returning to the living room with one of the last cans of beer, he stopped when he noticed the empty spot on the couch where Mathias had just been sitting. He backed up slowly, his heart leaping into his throat as he looked around in alarm. The rational side of his mind was trying to calm him down but he was completely taken over by fear.

 

A hand grabbed his wrist and he gasped, swinging his arm out and away in shock, the hand holding the knife trembling as wild adrenaline surged through him. His other wrist was grabbed and he struggled, the frantic voice of Mathias doing nothing to calm him down.

 

“Hey, hey- Kristian what’s wrong- kristian, stop!”

 

“Let go of me!”

 

“I’m not lettin’ ya go until ya stop- Kristian what the hell happened to you?”

 

“Nothing happened to me, dammit! Just let me go already!”

 

There was a short pause coming from the man behind him and Kristian continued to struggle to escape his tight grip. “So ya saw it too?”

 

He froze, his arms strained in Mathias’ tight grip and he gulped. The atmosphere turned tense and cold in just a matter of seconds, and the beer can Kristian was holding clattered to the ground. Mathias didn’t make a comment or a single movement either, staring at the back of his companion’s head as if he were reading a complicated book.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“I know ya did.” Kristian felt the hold on one of his arms slip off slowly but he didn’t move to lash out. “There’s no point in hidin’ it. I saw it too.”

 

Kristian let out a shaky breath and slowly removed his other arm from Mathias’ clasp, but he didn’t shift away from his spot, no matter how hard he begged for his legs to move, no matter how hard he begged himself to kick the other out, no matter how hard he begged to do _something._

 

His mouth ran dry and his throat ached. No. This was too strange. Too familiar to him. It was happening again. No matter how hard he tried to run from this destiny he couldn’t. It was unavoidable. The cold blade slowly pressing against his neck, the warm, sweating hand gripping onto his shoulder, and shaky breath trickling his ear. All of it was unavoidable, and Kristian knew he was doomed to repeat history again.

 

“I won’t forgive you for that, Kristian.”

 

“You shouldn’t do this. I’m not him. Not anymore, I’m someone new.”

 

“I can’t trust you anymore, just like you don’t trust me. I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long that I can’t hold back anymore.”

 

“So you knew?”

 

The breathy chuckle that tingled against his neck sent violent shudders down his spine and his body finally burst back into life, instantly lashing back out to the other. The blade that was against his neck grazes his skin, but he doesn’t think about it. They fight, things falling from the counter and breaking, hits and words being thrown at each other relentlessly. He can’t stop himself. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t think straight. His mind is filled with strong emotions he can’t process yet he doesn’t use the knife.

 

They continue to parry, they dodge, they hunger. For vengeance or for life, they can’t tell anymore. They’re lost in the heat of the battle, teeth clenched as wounds form on their skin from each blow and each jab. Soon he’s trapped, backed up against a corner with nothing but his trembling arms by his sides, the knife he was holding was discarded on the ground just mere meters away.

 

“They’re right. All of them. History does repeat itself, doesn’t it?”

 

The knife is raised, the cold and blotted blade glinting in the pale light of the lamps in the living room, and before he could react, before he could shout or scream, it’s brought down straight into his chest. The bones cracking under the sheer force and violence rips a pained shout of a wounded animal and he crumples to the ground in pain, clutching at the handle with shaking fingers as he looks up at the murderer with wounded eyes. His malicious grin was the last thing he saw before his vision was taken over by darkness.

 

Kristian stands there in the darkness of the living room, the low light of the lamps barely illuminating the corpse lying before him.

 

He feels different, a wave of familiarity and uncertainty washing over him.

 

It’s strange.

 

He’s been in this place before.


End file.
